"Test Drive" vs. True Happiness

In our world people believe that living together is the way to go. The value of a test drive, to many, is the way to take a relationship “head on.” For several individuals, the feelings of pleasure and instant gratification are the grounds by which joy and happiness breed. To the general populous of the world, those feelings bring the same satisfactions that marriage does. Everyday people all over the world are trying to define the correct concept of what marriage is and why it is even important. Some agree that living together is a form of marriage and is perfectly fine because no matter how you obtain the individual companionship, in the end, everything will ultimately work out. Others judge that when it comes to obtaining a partnership, there is absolutely no need for a marriage because all it does is bind you down and yoke you to an obligation that might not even work out in the end. As quoted in an article titled “Cohabitation May Not Be Harmful to Parenting,” the author declares: “Just as so many of us have learned to make marriages work without the support of a religious community, we can probably manage partnerships without a wedding” (Sandler, 2013). Along those same lines, Solot and Miller came to an equal conclusion that “living together is a logical way to experience a relationship without making a lifelong commitment" (Solot, & Miller, 2006 p.78).  In recognizing those points of view, we can see that it makes sense that people would think that just because marriage is a possibility, does not mean that it is an obligation to make the promise. It is easier to just live with someone and not be committed to the relationship, be able to leave whenever you feel the need to, and also have the sexual intimacy at your own discretion. Even though those things may be true for some, the feelings of instant gratification will only last for a second and then heartache will prevail. Through research on this topic it has been found that living together is not a great idea after all. Many peoples’ perceptions of practicality have been skewed in relating back to real happiness. Morals are not something that surrender to public opinion, nor do they allow for man to judge what is right, or wrong in a society. Laws governing this earth are decreed on strict adherence to such morals. No matter what choice we make in this life, there will undoubtedly be a consequence that follows, either good or bad.  If commitment becomes weak among generations, or if sex is the only thing that is on peoples’ minds, then the nature of marriage will be desecrated and family unity will be on the brink of destruction.

Marriage in today’s society is a concept that is diminishing rapidly. The decay in society is nonetheless harmful, but unavoidably getting worse. In past research, we have come to a consensus that all the evidence that has been found dealing with living together points in the unanimous direction of unhappiness and the final result of personal ills that present themselves in the lives of those that condone the actions. In a study presented by a professor of sociology, Larry Bumpass, Ph.D., declared candidly that, “the generally accepted wisdom- that living together helps determine whether the relationship is meant to be- may be erroneous. In fact, numerous studies have shown the opposite to be true” (Stahl, 2006). He then went on to mention that, “divorce is higher- about 50 percent higher- among those who live together before marriage” (2006). 

In another article titled “Marriage should unite one man and one woman”, the author presents us with some very bold statistics when he says,

  An overwhelming body of social science data has established that America’s greatest social problems- violent crime, welfare dependency, and child poverty- track more closely with family disintegration than they do with any other social variable, including race and income level. (Alliance for Marriage 2006)

It is sad to note that peoples’ understandings of the way true happiness should spawn is not the way that it always does. The key to overcoming such pit falls in life is relying on the genuine concept of “work.” It has been proven that over hundreds of years, the lessons of life have given understanding to what we should do to have happy marriages. If we put to action our thoughts and work towards having a happy life, then we will notice the decisions and actions we will need to take to accomplish our goals. In the book titled Covenant Hearts, the author declares boldly a basic statement of life that, if applied, will bring a greater self-fulfillment to those searching for a companionship. He states,

Still while marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person . . . if both are willing to pay the price. (Hafen, 2005)

So what is the price that needs to be payed? As declared by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in The Family: A Proclamation to the World we learn that, “successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities” (First Presidency, 1995 para. 7). The fundamental principles that we obtain as we follow these inspired words will cause within us great desires to become one with our companion, and life as we know it will tailor satisfaction as the end result. When the family comes into play, the important thing to remember is that if we are to have a successful family, then our marriage will need to be successful. If that is not the case, then the family is doomed to utter destruction.