The Destructive Nature of Cohabitation
Evidence is evidence, and when it becomes fact, there is no denial of its
authenticity. In recent years it has become strikingly obvious that the
disintegration of the family is becoming more prevalent on a daily basis. The
joys of life are blockaded as all nations cease to teach correct moral
principles, such as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Those precise
principles are essential in our individual communities, which allow our society
to become unified in public virtue. If
this unity is not present in our neighborhoods, then we, as individuals, are
more prone to choose a path in life that ultimately leads to unhappiness. When
accurate values are clarified, especially in the family unit, we know of a
surety that we can find strength in doing what is right. One trend that is giving
way to more and more sorrow these days is a vacuum that is relentlessly sucking
many people into its grasp. Cohabitation is a form of destruction because it
allows us to think that it is acceptable to live together with someone of the
opposite sex before marriage, it skews our morals by not allowing us to think
clearly on what our whole purpose of this life really is, and it incapacitates
the perception of todays youth.
Today, people living together without
commitment is becoming the normal way of life. There are inherent consequences
that come when two people cohabit before marriage. It can be seen that when a
couple lives together, they are burdened with roadblocks that stand in the path
of finding joy and pleasure in this life. Some examples of such roadblocks are
those that lead to emotional and physical stresses, and also that of
psychological health. With that knowledge, we can add that the biggest trial of
premarital habitation is when individuals lose the desire to give their all to
the person they like. This such problem deals with both repeated inatequacies. The whole purpose of marriage is the process
of two individuals taking upon themselves a covenant to love one other
unconditionally. If that is not the foundation, then what is? Lustful desires of the heart? A relationship
that one wants to obtain, but has no desire to commit to? If that is the only
reasoning in wanting to obtain a partner, then how is happiness truly going to
be on the forefront of the mind continually? When people marry, the final
result that presents itself is a committed union in which their whole lives are
in unison to live and prosper. That is the kind of life that gives way to
increased joy. In an article titled “The Verdict on Cohabitation vs. Marriage,”
the author describes this understanding very well when he says:
Marriage by definition means, ”I will
always be here for you.” Marrieds long-term contract encourages emotional
investment in the relationship. In contrast, cohabitation for most seems to
mean, ”I will be here only as long as the relationship meets my needs” (Larson, 2001, p. 9)
So
what is the antidote for this grand dilemma? It is to allow for selfishness to
be extinguished and true selflessness to be exemplified. If so, self-sacrifice
will represent the opportunity of insignificant petty differences to be
overcome and an increased desire to love your partner and seek after his or her
best will to be magnified. If one does not perform such a routine, then the
desire of that person’s heart is in the wrong place, and morally he or she is
choosing the wrong path. The right path, on the other hand, is one that guides
and directs our personal lives in helping us obtain the knowledge and
understanding of life.
So what is the purpose of life, and why
is it important to keep in mind such strict standards when it comes to a
relationship? Life is full of decisions, and as we choose the path that leads
to abiding happiness, we begin to see that morals begin to ingrain themselves
in us to provide strength and encouragement to keep strong. As morals are lived
and taught, the blessings of goodness begin to come in due time. We start to
recognize that love is real and that actions speak louder than words. In the book
Covenant Hearts, the author declares
candidly a basic point of life that, if applied, will bring a greater
self-fulfillment. He states,
“Still while marriage is difficult, and
discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is
possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can
conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person . . . if both
are willing to pay the price” (Hafen, 2005).
In
understanding this idea, what is the price we have to pay, and how does it
really bring so much joy? As declared by
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we learn that “successful marriages and families are established and
maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect,
love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities” (Presidency,
1995). The price that is paid as we follow this declaration will help build
marriages and give people the knowledge of how lives are meant to be lived.
Some may say with such candor that there is no specific way to live ones life,
or in other words, that there is no such purpose of life, but that is all out
blasphemy, especially when it comes to such grand decisions that will have a
multi lifetime effect. In the consensus of one trying to disprove that
cohabitation is ok, we can recognize that everyone is different and all people
have different ways of perceiving existence, but no matter what choice you
make, there is always a consequence that will follow; both good or bad. Those
that are making such a deep decision of life should always remember that they
are not only affecting their own lives, but the lives of their posterities for
generations to come.
It is important to realize
that the perception of todays youth is very important. When all is said and
done, the most important teaching experiences that will ever produce an impact
on the future of the world will be within the walls of our homes. The choices
that each family member makes determines the way that civilizations turn out.
Families are what build communities, communities are what build neighborhoods,
neighborhoods are what build states, and it replicates over and over until
nations and the whole population of the world is created. It is true that
families are the most important society on the face of the whole earth. As
mothers and fathers, the realization comes when we understand how much of an
impact immoral and unethical principles, no matter how insignificant we may
think they may be, tend to demoralize and destroy the very fabric of society.
If there is any desire left in the hearts of men to keep public virtue and
individual sanity in place, then correct morals are a necessity and cannot be
waived or become a thing of naught. It starts in the very behaviors of parents
and children in each home. When the correct behavior is established then we
will be able to see the fruits of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness
prevail. In the Journal of Marriage and
Family, we learn that “children in two-biological-parent cohabiting
families and cohabiting stepfamilies exhibit significantly more behavioral and
emotional problems than children living with two biological married parents,
controlling for children’s characteristics” (Brown, 2004, p. 357). In taking this
perspective and applying it to everyday life, the evidence that is shown is
broadcast through all nations and countries. We as a human family need to stop
destroying our lives by destroying the most important bond that can be obtained
in this life, marriage.
In declaring these realities,
there is an increased need for men and women on this earth to take the
incentive to give themselves in marriage before they think about going the
distance of living together or having children. The reason for such a statement,
is so morally they can recognize the importance of giving their all, and not
just increments of themselves. Their lives, and many other lives will be
blessed, because, through it, they will recognize the importance of life and
how marriage is the union that binds families together. Lastly, they will feel
the need to be an example to their posterities so emotional and behavioral
problems will not arise, but that lives will be lived in celestial spledor.
Reference Page
(Brown, S. L.
(2004). Family structure and child well‐being: the significance of
parental cohabitation. Journal of Marriage and Family, 66(2),
351-367
(Hafen, B. C. (2005). Covenant
hearts: Marriage and the joy of human love. Salt Lake City, Utah: Deseret
Book.
(Larson, J. H. (2001). The verdict on cohabitation vs.
marriage. Marriage and Families, 4(1), 7-12.
Presidency, F.
Council of Twelve Apostles (1995, November), The family: A proclamation to the
world.
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